Five teachers using a combined 90 decades of experience share tips for parents of two - to 5-year-olds. Getting the Best Out of Your Kid I worry my 3-year-old, Sophie, has a split personality. At college she cleans her toys up, puts on her shoes, and is completely self-sufficient at potty time. In the home, she yells when I ask her to pick anything up, insists that I join her in the restroom whenever she has to go, and recently has begun requiring that I spoon-feed her dinner. Certainly, her teacher knows something that I don't. But then, what parent hasn't occasionally wondered: Why is my kid better for everybody else than for me personally? The easy answer: Your child tests her limits with you because she trusts you will love her no matter what. But that doesn't mean that you can't borrow a few strategies from the preschool instructors ' playbook to get the best from your child. We requested teachers from all over the country for their tips so listen up -- and take notes! .
Give structured choicesIf, for instance, your 3-year-old fails to sit at the dinner table, you could supply the choice of sitting and getting dessert -- or maybe not sitting and passing up a treat. At first, your child may not make the right choice, but he will, because he'll see that the wrong choice isn't get him what he desires, says Buss. Just be sure, if you want your child to choose choice A, that alternative B is less attractive.
Don't reevaluate what they've done.If your child makes her bed, then resist the impulse to smooth the blankets. If she sees herself stripes and polka dots, then compliment her diverse style. Unless absolutely necessary, don't mend what your child accomplishes, says Kathy Buss, manager of this Weekday Nursery School, at Morrisville, Pennsylvania. She'll notice and it could discourage her
Don't wait disciplineIf you must reprimand your child, do so when you watch her misbehaving, advises Buss. Sometimes I will hear parents say, 'Wait until we get home...,' but at the time you're home, your child has forgotten the incident. Similarly, canceling Saturday's zoo excursion because of Thursday's tantrum won't stop potential outbursts; it'll just feel like arbitrary, undeserved punishment to your child.
Resist doing for her what she could do .While it might be faster and easier to do it yourself, it won't help to make your child more self-sufficient. Quick hint: Appeal to her feeling of pride, suggests Donna Jones, a preschool teacher at Southern Oregon University's Schneider Children's Center at Ashland, Oregon. Whenever I'm trying to get children to dress, put jackets on, sit on seats during foods and so forth, I'll inquire 'Do you need me to assist you or can you do it yourself? ' Those words are like magic, promises Jones. The children always want to do it .
Avoid good-bye meltdownsIf your child is nervous about spending time apart, give him something tangible to remind him . Let him carry your picture; kiss a tissue or cut out a paper core and place it in his pocket. Having something bodily to touch may help him feel anxious -- and short-circuit a tantrum.
Warn of transitionsIf your son or daughter pitches a fit whenever you announce it's time to switch gears --if that means shutting off the TV, stopping play to come eat, or departing a buddy 's house -- it might be that you're not giving enough advance notice. At college we let kids know when alterations are coming so that they have the time to finish whatever they're doing, observes Cohen-Dorfman. In case you need to leave the house at 8:30 a.m., remind your kid at 8:15 she's five minutes to play, then will have to cease to put away her toys. Set a timer so that she knows if the time is up.
